April 8, 2009

Its been a long while since I last updated you all here...not much to say really...and lots at the same time. I have days where the emotions seem to take over and other days when life is just okay. We have run the gamut of feelings over the past few months. Marc lost his job back on my birthday in January, since then we have struggled with lots of issues but mainly just that there is really not lot of options out there as far as employment. I have struggled with the whole anger thing for quite a bit of time honestly, I was angry at everything and about anything. I am thinking its like those stages of grief...I am past that part of it finally and now I have moved on to just wanting to get through the rest and move to the other side. I know its better on the other side if we could only just get there faster with out going through the muck in the middle. BUT, and that is a but BUT, sometimes God has another plan. We can't always see it but we do know without a shadow of doubt right now that there is something for us that is better than what we had and we just need to be patient .... ( I am so not a patient person by nature). I was asking myself the other day (yes talking to myself I did that before this whole life turn, no worry), anyway, asking what is it I have learned from this situation so far, and what is there left for me to still learn (another words what else God, can we get on with this?)

Okay so some things I have learned in this ....

* Good people sometimes say stupid things (okay that was funny, right? but really honest)

* I want to be a GIVER...I want to be the one who helps out all those who need it!

* God is bigger than my situation

* Sometimes we go through things for no reason that we can understand

* God understands that I am mad ...and still loves me right where I am

* Christians go through really bad times too...sometimes I think for others to see how they will handle them.

* Family and TRUE friends, there is nothing better than that!

The list goes on and on....

I am really blessed by the love that has poured out to us over these past three months and I can't even imagine going through this without knowing that no matter what I am just passing through here and this is not my home...permanent anyway. I am heaven bound!

Thank you all who have prayed for us, brought groceries, gave gifts, sat and cried with us, and just plain loved us! We couldn't ask for better friends and family!

Thanks again

I will leave ya with a song that has really spoke to me today....

The lyrics are here it is FFH who sings it check it out on Itunes....

I can't find the words to pray

I'm a little down today

Can you help me?

Can you hold me?

I feel like a million miles away

And I don't know what to say

Can you hear me anyway?

What I need is for you to reach out your hand

You have taught me

No matter what you'd understand

CHORUS:

Lord move in a way, that I've never seen before

Cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door

I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore

So Lord move (move), or move me.

I've look every where to find A simple peace of mind

I can't find nothing on my own

So I got to leave myself behind

Take up this cross of mine

Give away everything I hold onto

Lord I know the only way is through this

Lord I know I need you to help me do this

CHORUS

Lord move in a way, that I've never seen before

Cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door

I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore

So Lord move (move), or move me.

Out of this place of complacency

To a place of fellowship with thee

Cause I am weak but Lord you are so strong

And you know it's been way too long (been way too long)

Lord move in the way, that I've never seen before

Cause there's a mountain in the way and I'll knock on the door

I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore So Lord move (move)...

We Are Waiting Lord

I think I can sum up the past few days and weeks in one song so here it is! For those of you who have seen the movie Fireproof it is also a part of that movie! :)

The song by John Waller: I'm Waiting on you Lord

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently,
I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You While I'm waiting
I will worship While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Saturday Morning Blessings & Updates

Good Morning everyone,

It is a typical Saturday morning here...well not so much really. This morning we woke in a winter storm watch, no snow at dawn though it has just started in the past hour. I ran out before the snow started to return a movie we borrowed from my sister, wanted them to be able to see it tonight.

Last night we watched the movie Fireproof. It was awesome, I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone, whether you are married now or engaged or thinking of one day becoming married. Very real. A must see ~ Keep a box of Kleenex handy though as you watch.

Upon returning home today, there was a bag of groceries and Milk waiting by the back door, what a huge blessing that was. If you are reading this and you sent it~ We have no words to express our thanks, we are being blown away by God's provision for us through others lately! Thank you from the bottom of our heart! We are truly blessed by all of you through this uncertain time in our life. Thank you again!

Updates: We are still job searching, have sent out more resumes than we care to mention to all states and all types of companies. We are still waiting as well to hear from the company that Marc interviewed with earlier this month. They were making a decision by the end of this month and have told us that either way we would be contacted to know what was decided. So we are waiting on something to come through. What ever God has for us we are anxious to see his plan.

Medicaid is something that at this point we are not going to get. For many reasons it is not a good fit for our family. At first it seemed like the answer to our medical care for the kids but as sometimes happens what at first seems good is not always the best choice. Two major reasons that we are not going that route is the fact that we don't vaccinate, and we homeschool our kids. There are other issues involved as well but these two top our list...Currently we are pursuing some other options. Please pray for clear direction on this part.

People have asked us in what ways they could help us out at this time and all I can say is really pray for us. Pray for protection for our family and for strength to continue to make it through these times of uncertainty. Pray for our health that we would remain healthy and that something will come through that will better able to suit us for insurance purposes. Pray for our financial needs that God would provide for us and that our pride does not get in the way of that. Pray for us emotionally that Satan would not win out in this war, we are continually bombarded with disappointment right now and really need some good news, pray our spirits stay positive and that we are able to continue to see his blessings all around us! Pray that we will be able to serve God while we wait for his perfect timing. There are so many others around us whose needs are of soo much more importance than ours, they don't have the same Hope we have in Christ and it is such a bad time to not know the true Saviour. Pray that we somehow can make a difference in someone else's life that may have an eternal impact.

I think that covers what is new/old or otherwise here! Thank you again for all your prayers and well wishes!

Until next time.....

Wednesday February 18th

Good Morning everyone,

I am writing a quick note to let you know what is going on here at the Steppey household.

This week caleb is off school for Spring Break, although the boys are still doing school this week so we can meet our goal of being out by Memorial Day for Summer Vacation! :) They are not super thrilled about having school this week but still would like to be done in May so they are trudging through it! ;)

Today is MAFA, which means a nice break for Mom & Dad and the boys too. They truly love it now and can't wait for Wednesdays to get there! I am so glad they have found some great friends there!

We are still job searching and are hoping for something to come through soon. The world is a different place now in that way....almost everything is done online...you find the job online, send the resume online, and then wait to hear back from someone mostly through an email...its crazy. Gone are the days of human contact ...you gotta know someone to get in anywhere for the actual interview otherwise you are just a piece of paper....

Anyhow...still praying for the right job to come and hopeful for a little good news to come soon....any news would be good right now....

Until next time.....

Job, opinion, and prayer...

Hi everyone,

Well it will be a month tomorrow since we lost the job. I never thought we would find ourselves here, but here we are. We have been sending out more resumes and applying online for anything that may fit into something we could qualify for, and yet we still wait. The calls are coming now daily about bills that are starting to lag behind and they to be honest are never pleasant but they are life right now. We still hold to the fact that God has a bigger plan for us we just can't see it right now. Unemployment has plenty of ups and downs, mostly downs truthfully. Its getting rather depressing to hear of nothing but job loss on the news and in the papers, mostly now we avoid both. Every time I hear of another person losing there jobs, I immediately feel for the family that it effects, that sick feeling in the pit of your gut, the fear and hopelessness, and just that awful fact that another person is out looking for the same job as you ....its a vicious cycle. It hurts to know others are in the same spot as you when you know its not a fun place to be! :( Anyhow...we are still hopeful truthfully and holding onto the fact that we know what ever happens we will survive as a family.

Everyone seems to have an opinion on this whole job situation...some say take whatever you can get even like a minimum wage or low paying job, but honestly I can't agree with it at this point. If he takes a job for what the unemployment money is currently but now has no time to job search what benefit is that? Not that we won't take an offer that is less then what we did make, that isn't it, its the low expectations I think that make me angry at times. I know my hubby is worth so much more than a 10-12 buck an hour job...come on! :( Well if we have learned anything in this process its that we have to go thru all sorts of emotions daily it seems...

Off the job topic now....I need a break. ;) Anyhow...the octuplets that were born. I truly believe they are amazing, no matter who had them. The controversy that has surrounded that woman is unbelievable to me though....not to say that she has made some decisions that may not line up with what I would of done or maybe you reading this would of done but who are we as outsiders to say whether or not she should of done it? I think the media needs to "butt out" of it truthfully. She is an adult woman who is not unintelligent (she is working on her graduate degree), she obviously loves the kids, and wanted them, who are we to say she shouldn't have? Whether the woman takes state aid or not to take care of her children is really not the entire worlds issue, is it? For that matter we are on state aid as well, should someone be able to take my children? NO WAY! Anyone one who has that many children no matter who they are could possibly end up on aid of some sort....
My biggest issue with this who thing is those claiming she is nuts to have wanted this many children in the first place...let me just say if my great grandmother would not have wanted a large family I would not be here today blogging about this....my grandpa was the youngest of 26 children. So should the government had any right to those kids back then ??? NO! Should they with these new babies? NO! Okay I am stepping down of my soap box now and onto some much needed prayer requests. :)

Prayers always accepted here! :)

Currently we are still praying for a job, obviously. We would ask you pray with us specifically that he find a job that pays him what he is worth with benefits, that is something he would love to do, and that is something that is soon! :)

We are still waiting on the medicaid to come thru for the kids. They had said 45 days so we are nearing that deadline. Pray we hear soon so we can get Caleb back into therapy. We are noticing his speech is really becoming an issue again.

Pray for our children ....stress can do terrible things to us all, pray they are protected from it and that they continue to understand that nothing can separate us as a family.

Pray for Marc and I as the days turn into months the stress is building and at times seems to make us do more arguing than necessary about little things, when really its the bigger things that are the underlying issue.

Pray for Marc as he has started helping out down at Lifebuilders on Tuesday nights in their kids program. Pray for safety for he and my sister as they travel down weekly. Pray for these children they are ministering to, they all have needs so much greater than our and need Jesus more than anything.

Well that about sums it up....

Until next time......

Prayer Request

Hi everyone,

A quick note, Marc has an interview this week Tuesday, at a propane company. Please pray for him he has not had to interview for a loooong time for a job, he is nervous and anxious to get it over with and hope to hear something good come of it! Thanks for praying with us!

Also Caleb is sick, please pray it doesn't go into the whole asthma thing, he is already on breathing treatments and is running a fever so please pray we don't end up on steroids again or need a doctors visit even at this point with no insurance. Thanks for praying again ~ we will keep ya posted!

God is still in control and its his plan we wait on now.

Until next time.....

Lyrics to my prayer

This song really spoke to me about all that we have been struggling with lately. Especially the second verse about pressed but not crushed, persecuted but not abandoned...thanks again for all the prayers. Please keep them coming....
Until next time......


I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord
I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

Chorus:And we say yes Lord
yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord
yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord
yes yes Lord Amen

I'm pressed but not crushed
persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse
for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength
Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning