Wednesday, April 8, 2009

April 8, 2009

Its been a long while since I last updated you all here...not much to say really...and lots at the same time. I have days where the emotions seem to take over and other days when life is just okay. We have run the gamut of feelings over the past few months. Marc lost his job back on my birthday in January, since then we have struggled with lots of issues but mainly just that there is really not lot of options out there as far as employment. I have struggled with the whole anger thing for quite a bit of time honestly, I was angry at everything and about anything. I am thinking its like those stages of grief...I am past that part of it finally and now I have moved on to just wanting to get through the rest and move to the other side. I know its better on the other side if we could only just get there faster with out going through the muck in the middle. BUT, and that is a but BUT, sometimes God has another plan. We can't always see it but we do know without a shadow of doubt right now that there is something for us that is better than what we had and we just need to be patient .... ( I am so not a patient person by nature). I was asking myself the other day (yes talking to myself I did that before this whole life turn, no worry), anyway, asking what is it I have learned from this situation so far, and what is there left for me to still learn (another words what else God, can we get on with this?)
Okay so some things I have learned in this ....
* Good people sometimes say stupid things (okay that was funny, right? but really honest)
* I want to be a GIVER...I want to be the one who helps out all those who need it!
* God is bigger than my situation
* Sometimes we go through things for no reason that we can understand
* God understands that I am mad ...and still loves me right where I am
* Christians go through really bad times too...sometimes I think for others to see how they will handle them.
* Family and TRUE friends, there is nothing better than that!
The list goes on and on....
I am really blessed by the love that has poured out to us over these past three months and I can't even imagine going through this without knowing that no matter what I am just passing through here and this is not my home...permanent anyway. I am heaven bound!
Thank you all who have prayed for us, brought groceries, gave gifts, sat and cried with us, and just plain loved us! We couldn't ask for better friends and family!
Thanks again
I will leave ya with a song that has really spoke to me today....
The lyrics are here it is FFH who sings it check it out on Itunes....
I can't find the words to pray
I'm a little down today
Can you help me?
Can you hold me?
I feel like a million miles away
And I don't know what to say
Can you hear me anyway?
What I need is for you to reach out your hand
You have taught me
No matter what you'd understand
CHORUS:
Lord move in a way, that I've never seen before
Cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move (move), or move me.
I've look every where to find A simple peace of mind
I can't find nothing on my own
So I got to leave myself behind
Take up this cross of mine
Give away everything I hold onto
Lord I know the only way is through this
Lord I know I need you to help me do this
CHORUS
Lord move in a way, that I've never seen before
Cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore
So Lord move (move), or move me.
Out of this place of complacency
To a place of fellowship with thee
Cause I am weak but Lord you are so strong
And you know it's been way too long (been way too long)
Lord move in the way, that I've never seen before
Cause there's a mountain in the way and I'll knock on the door
I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore So Lord move (move)...

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