April 8, 2009

Its been a long while since I last updated you all here...not much to say really...and lots at the same time. I have days where the emotions seem to take over and other days when life is just okay. We have run the gamut of feelings over the past few months. Marc lost his job back on my birthday in January, since then we have struggled with lots of issues but mainly just that there is really not lot of options out there as far as employment. I have struggled with the whole anger thing for quite a bit of time honestly, I was angry at everything and about anything. I am thinking its like those stages of grief...I am past that part of it finally and now I have moved on to just wanting to get through the rest and move to the other side. I know its better on the other side if we could only just get there faster with out going through the muck in the middle. BUT, and that is a but BUT, sometimes God has another plan. We can't always see it but we do know without a shadow of doubt right now that there is something for us that is better than what we had and we just need to be patient .... ( I am so not a patient person by nature). I was asking myself the other day (yes talking to myself I did that before this whole life turn, no worry), anyway, asking what is it I have learned from this situation so far, and what is there left for me to still learn (another words what else God, can we get on with this?)

Okay so some things I have learned in this ....

* Good people sometimes say stupid things (okay that was funny, right? but really honest)

* I want to be a GIVER...I want to be the one who helps out all those who need it!

* God is bigger than my situation

* Sometimes we go through things for no reason that we can understand

* God understands that I am mad ...and still loves me right where I am

* Christians go through really bad times too...sometimes I think for others to see how they will handle them.

* Family and TRUE friends, there is nothing better than that!

The list goes on and on....

I am really blessed by the love that has poured out to us over these past three months and I can't even imagine going through this without knowing that no matter what I am just passing through here and this is not my home...permanent anyway. I am heaven bound!

Thank you all who have prayed for us, brought groceries, gave gifts, sat and cried with us, and just plain loved us! We couldn't ask for better friends and family!

Thanks again

I will leave ya with a song that has really spoke to me today....

The lyrics are here it is FFH who sings it check it out on Itunes....

I can't find the words to pray

I'm a little down today

Can you help me?

Can you hold me?

I feel like a million miles away

And I don't know what to say

Can you hear me anyway?

What I need is for you to reach out your hand

You have taught me

No matter what you'd understand

CHORUS:

Lord move in a way, that I've never seen before

Cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door

I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore

So Lord move (move), or move me.

I've look every where to find A simple peace of mind

I can't find nothing on my own

So I got to leave myself behind

Take up this cross of mine

Give away everything I hold onto

Lord I know the only way is through this

Lord I know I need you to help me do this

CHORUS

Lord move in a way, that I've never seen before

Cause there's a mountain in the way and a lock on the door

I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore

So Lord move (move), or move me.

Out of this place of complacency

To a place of fellowship with thee

Cause I am weak but Lord you are so strong

And you know it's been way too long (been way too long)

Lord move in the way, that I've never seen before

Cause there's a mountain in the way and I'll knock on the door

I'm drifting away, waves are crashing on the shore So Lord move (move)...

We Are Waiting Lord

I think I can sum up the past few days and weeks in one song so here it is! For those of you who have seen the movie Fireproof it is also a part of that movie! :)

The song by John Waller: I'm Waiting on you Lord

I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am hopeful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it is painful
But patiently,
I will wait
I will move ahead, bold and confident
Takeing every step in obedience
While I'm waiting
I will serve You While I'm waiting
I will worship While I'm waiting
I will not faint
I'll be running the race
Even while I wait
I'm waiting
I'm waiting on You, Lord
And I am peaceful
I'm waiting on You, Lord
Though it's not easy
But faithfully, I will wait
Yes, I will wait
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve You while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting
I will serve you while I'm waiting
I will worship while I'm waiting on You, Lord

Saturday Morning Blessings & Updates

Good Morning everyone,

It is a typical Saturday morning here...well not so much really. This morning we woke in a winter storm watch, no snow at dawn though it has just started in the past hour. I ran out before the snow started to return a movie we borrowed from my sister, wanted them to be able to see it tonight.

Last night we watched the movie Fireproof. It was awesome, I highly recommend it to anyone and everyone, whether you are married now or engaged or thinking of one day becoming married. Very real. A must see ~ Keep a box of Kleenex handy though as you watch.

Upon returning home today, there was a bag of groceries and Milk waiting by the back door, what a huge blessing that was. If you are reading this and you sent it~ We have no words to express our thanks, we are being blown away by God's provision for us through others lately! Thank you from the bottom of our heart! We are truly blessed by all of you through this uncertain time in our life. Thank you again!

Updates: We are still job searching, have sent out more resumes than we care to mention to all states and all types of companies. We are still waiting as well to hear from the company that Marc interviewed with earlier this month. They were making a decision by the end of this month and have told us that either way we would be contacted to know what was decided. So we are waiting on something to come through. What ever God has for us we are anxious to see his plan.

Medicaid is something that at this point we are not going to get. For many reasons it is not a good fit for our family. At first it seemed like the answer to our medical care for the kids but as sometimes happens what at first seems good is not always the best choice. Two major reasons that we are not going that route is the fact that we don't vaccinate, and we homeschool our kids. There are other issues involved as well but these two top our list...Currently we are pursuing some other options. Please pray for clear direction on this part.

People have asked us in what ways they could help us out at this time and all I can say is really pray for us. Pray for protection for our family and for strength to continue to make it through these times of uncertainty. Pray for our health that we would remain healthy and that something will come through that will better able to suit us for insurance purposes. Pray for our financial needs that God would provide for us and that our pride does not get in the way of that. Pray for us emotionally that Satan would not win out in this war, we are continually bombarded with disappointment right now and really need some good news, pray our spirits stay positive and that we are able to continue to see his blessings all around us! Pray that we will be able to serve God while we wait for his perfect timing. There are so many others around us whose needs are of soo much more importance than ours, they don't have the same Hope we have in Christ and it is such a bad time to not know the true Saviour. Pray that we somehow can make a difference in someone else's life that may have an eternal impact.

I think that covers what is new/old or otherwise here! Thank you again for all your prayers and well wishes!

Until next time.....

Wednesday February 18th

Good Morning everyone,

I am writing a quick note to let you know what is going on here at the Steppey household.

This week caleb is off school for Spring Break, although the boys are still doing school this week so we can meet our goal of being out by Memorial Day for Summer Vacation! :) They are not super thrilled about having school this week but still would like to be done in May so they are trudging through it! ;)

Today is MAFA, which means a nice break for Mom & Dad and the boys too. They truly love it now and can't wait for Wednesdays to get there! I am so glad they have found some great friends there!

We are still job searching and are hoping for something to come through soon. The world is a different place now in that way....almost everything is done online...you find the job online, send the resume online, and then wait to hear back from someone mostly through an email...its crazy. Gone are the days of human contact ...you gotta know someone to get in anywhere for the actual interview otherwise you are just a piece of paper....

Anyhow...still praying for the right job to come and hopeful for a little good news to come soon....any news would be good right now....

Until next time.....

Job, opinion, and prayer...

Hi everyone,

Well it will be a month tomorrow since we lost the job. I never thought we would find ourselves here, but here we are. We have been sending out more resumes and applying online for anything that may fit into something we could qualify for, and yet we still wait. The calls are coming now daily about bills that are starting to lag behind and they to be honest are never pleasant but they are life right now. We still hold to the fact that God has a bigger plan for us we just can't see it right now. Unemployment has plenty of ups and downs, mostly downs truthfully. Its getting rather depressing to hear of nothing but job loss on the news and in the papers, mostly now we avoid both. Every time I hear of another person losing there jobs, I immediately feel for the family that it effects, that sick feeling in the pit of your gut, the fear and hopelessness, and just that awful fact that another person is out looking for the same job as you ....its a vicious cycle. It hurts to know others are in the same spot as you when you know its not a fun place to be! :( Anyhow...we are still hopeful truthfully and holding onto the fact that we know what ever happens we will survive as a family.

Everyone seems to have an opinion on this whole job situation...some say take whatever you can get even like a minimum wage or low paying job, but honestly I can't agree with it at this point. If he takes a job for what the unemployment money is currently but now has no time to job search what benefit is that? Not that we won't take an offer that is less then what we did make, that isn't it, its the low expectations I think that make me angry at times. I know my hubby is worth so much more than a 10-12 buck an hour job...come on! :( Well if we have learned anything in this process its that we have to go thru all sorts of emotions daily it seems...

Off the job topic now....I need a break. ;) Anyhow...the octuplets that were born. I truly believe they are amazing, no matter who had them. The controversy that has surrounded that woman is unbelievable to me though....not to say that she has made some decisions that may not line up with what I would of done or maybe you reading this would of done but who are we as outsiders to say whether or not she should of done it? I think the media needs to "butt out" of it truthfully. She is an adult woman who is not unintelligent (she is working on her graduate degree), she obviously loves the kids, and wanted them, who are we to say she shouldn't have? Whether the woman takes state aid or not to take care of her children is really not the entire worlds issue, is it? For that matter we are on state aid as well, should someone be able to take my children? NO WAY! Anyone one who has that many children no matter who they are could possibly end up on aid of some sort....
My biggest issue with this who thing is those claiming she is nuts to have wanted this many children in the first place...let me just say if my great grandmother would not have wanted a large family I would not be here today blogging about this....my grandpa was the youngest of 26 children. So should the government had any right to those kids back then ??? NO! Should they with these new babies? NO! Okay I am stepping down of my soap box now and onto some much needed prayer requests. :)

Prayers always accepted here! :)

Currently we are still praying for a job, obviously. We would ask you pray with us specifically that he find a job that pays him what he is worth with benefits, that is something he would love to do, and that is something that is soon! :)

We are still waiting on the medicaid to come thru for the kids. They had said 45 days so we are nearing that deadline. Pray we hear soon so we can get Caleb back into therapy. We are noticing his speech is really becoming an issue again.

Pray for our children ....stress can do terrible things to us all, pray they are protected from it and that they continue to understand that nothing can separate us as a family.

Pray for Marc and I as the days turn into months the stress is building and at times seems to make us do more arguing than necessary about little things, when really its the bigger things that are the underlying issue.

Pray for Marc as he has started helping out down at Lifebuilders on Tuesday nights in their kids program. Pray for safety for he and my sister as they travel down weekly. Pray for these children they are ministering to, they all have needs so much greater than our and need Jesus more than anything.

Well that about sums it up....

Until next time......

Prayer Request

Hi everyone,

A quick note, Marc has an interview this week Tuesday, at a propane company. Please pray for him he has not had to interview for a loooong time for a job, he is nervous and anxious to get it over with and hope to hear something good come of it! Thanks for praying with us!

Also Caleb is sick, please pray it doesn't go into the whole asthma thing, he is already on breathing treatments and is running a fever so please pray we don't end up on steroids again or need a doctors visit even at this point with no insurance. Thanks for praying again ~ we will keep ya posted!

God is still in control and its his plan we wait on now.

Until next time.....

Lyrics to my prayer

This song really spoke to me about all that we have been struggling with lately. Especially the second verse about pressed but not crushed, persecuted but not abandoned...thanks again for all the prayers. Please keep them coming....
Until next time......


I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord
I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

Chorus:And we say yes Lord
yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord
yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord
yes yes Lord Amen

I'm pressed but not crushed
persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse
for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength
Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes with the morning

13 days and Counting~

Well its been almost two weeks since we lost our job here! We are still faithfully optimistic but it can be really hard at times. We have been blessed with an awesome family support system and group of great friends! This is not easy on us but we are trudging through it and hoping to come out better on the other side!

Some positive has come out of job loss~ Since we home school our kids they have had the benefit of learning from both Mom and Dad these past two weeks. Marc is great with helping out, ( I secretly think he is liking keeping his mind busy) much better with science experiments than me, and I think he enjoys relearning with the kids lots of the History stuff. Needless to say it can be a little too much togetherness at times but we are managing. :)

We have had lots of resumes sent out but are always looking for the next lead to follow up on. For many of you who have been out of a job for any amount of time you know how frustrating that whole hurry up and wait routine can be. Marc so far is very positive about the future and we are just striving to keep life as normal as possible for our kids. They have been pretty good all in all with the change of having Daddy home, to me at times it can be a constant reminder that we aren't getting a paycheck each day he is here. I am sure he feels that way as well. I keep telling him that life is this way for many people right now and its not anything to do with him personally just the way the world is right now! The economy stinks and we just fell victims to it!

Well anyhow I just wanted to update you all as to what has happened so far...keep praying for the job we are supposed to have, that it will be in the perfect time and one Marc clearly enjoys!

Thanks again for all the prayers and well wishes, as well as the many anonymous gifts that have come our way!

Until next time....

Life

Well its only the first week of being out of a job and it feels like a lifetime!

Right now I am frustrated with the government and its hoops you need to jump through to get things done. We are currently working on just the insurance issues. We don't qualify for MI Child insurance which is offered through the state of Michigan. They have sent an application for Medicaid in for the kids, I say they because when you apply for Michild, if you don't qualify it automatically applies for the medicaid. I am also working on getting some other insurance for Caleb thru Children's Special Health Care Services, this he qualifies for due his Cerebral Palsy. They have their owns sets of hoops to jump through, I am going to try to tackle that one again tomorrow. It requires me going to the doctors main office and having them fax the medical records to them and then they will let us know in approx two and half weeks if we can maybe get that~ UGH! Today I feel like screaming! I just want them to be covered in case of an illness. Being that its January and they are all asthmatics going without insurance is like almost crazy!

Marc is doing okay so far, he is I think still in shock. I am in the mode of let's send that resume to wherever and as many places as we can possibly get it, he is more reserved at this point. I just want to be proactive....

I changed my school schedule around a bit, I dropped the anatomy and lab (which is one class but meets separately) and added a math class I needed and left the computer class alone ...so I still have the same number of credits but a little more time open. While my mind is scattered right now I felt it better to hold off on the science class, they count as heavily weighted grades going into the nursing program. Anyhow I am okay with what I have so far so we will see....

The kids have their moments, they are like me ....sometimes more worried and aware that things aren't the same and other times oblivious to all the what ifs. My worrier, Luke, is the hardest one to assure. Honestly I think he just wants to be assured that his life isn't going to change all that much, really isn't that what we all want??? I want to hear that too! :) Anyhow, I have constantly told them that no matter what we will be fine, together and taken care of. Stuff is still just that STUFF, not all that important. :)

If you are praying for us~ THANK YOU! If you are looking for specifics to pray about here ya go!
1) Our health ~especially the kids.
2) A new job with benefits of course
3) Provision for all our needs, for physical,spiritual, and emotional.
4) Pray for this special healthcare to go thru without a hitch so that Caleb can return to therapy asap!

Marc & I have been really encouraged by the song by Tenth Ave North this week, it seems it is always on when we get in the car. "By your side" I have included the words below..check it out on itunes or youtube for the music ~

Thanks for the prayers ~keep them coming!
Until next time......

Why are you striving these days
Why are you trying to earn grace
Why are you crying
Let me lift up your face
Just don't turn away
Why are you looking for love
Why are you still searching
as if I'm not enough
To where will you go child
Tell me where will you run
To where will you run
'Cause I'll be by your side
Wherever you fall
In the dead of night
Whenever you call
And please don't fight
These hands that are holding you
My hands are holding you
Look at these hands and my side
They swallowed the grave on that night
When I drank the world's sin
So I could carry you in
And give you life
I want to give you life

Job loss and January blues

Hi everyone,

Well its just frigid outside right now, although today was what they are calling a warming trend, its reached 21 I believe. The last few days its been like 5 degrees and we are just chilled to the bone ~ Brrr...I am so tired of Winter already and its only January.

Thursday was my birthday, a memorable one at that. My husband lost his job that day. We were pretty shocked to say the least. Even when you know its a possibility its always in the back of your mind that it won't really happen to you. Well here we are....we have never been here before. Its a whole new world...

We don't know what to do first ...we have filed for unemployment, applied for health insurance for our kids, and basically don't know what to do next. We don't haven enough to make it even a month honestly with a paycheck...unemployment is $350 dollars a week for a family of five ~ We are stressed but also trusting in what we know and that is that somehow God is going to provide for us. Not that I expect that its not going to get a whole lot worse before it gets better but that he is going to bring us through this and make us better for it.

My mind is going a million directions right now and my concentration is just lacking. I can't think about it all at once or its overwhelming. The first night I went to bed in a haze, chanting to myself "When I am afraid I will trust in you", I know that even in my subconscious all night that kept me going, I also awoke that night about 4am and began searching for the verse that had popped into my head while asleep, "my God will supply all your needs according to his riches in glory!" God is providing already, I see that in many ways. First he has calmed my spirit at times when I didn't think he could. He has provided great awesome friends to call and check on us and let us know we are in their prayers, I can feel those prayers holding us up! He has given us our family that no matter what will stand by us through it all! He has provided in telling our children and for them to accept that even if we lose it all we still have each other, he has taken their fears and comforted them at this scary time. But most of all he is teaching us to let him provide and let him lead since we really can't control anything that happens at this time. We are faithful and we are blessed by more than stuff we are blessed by knowing that we have a hope that far exceeds anything earthly things! We have a hope and a future and its in his hands we wait ......

Our prayer requests currently are :

1~ a job for Marc that he enjoys and that pays the bills
2~ the ability to keep our home, and the utilities on.
3~ our children and ourselves to stay healthy during this down time with insurance or jobs.
4~ our spirits to stay encouraged and upbeat and not let Satan take control.
5~ for the so many others around us that are also unemployed and their families.

Until next time.....

A New Year~ Means New Goals

Well its already the 6th day of January and I am just getting around to updating you all on life~ Its already been a busy year for us! I made lots of new goals (not resolutions, just goals), I of course added some things to our already full school schedule and am seeing how that works out in real life. (looks good on paper) I also have made some changes to the ways we spend our money~ more out of necessity than want but all the same its in the works. It can be very hard to budget when you have little to work with but we are trying to cut back and lean up this year!

Lets see our biggest adjustment of the year thus far is that our income was cut by 20%, as well as time spent at work, vacation time, personal days etc...With all that said we are still among the lucky to be employed in Michigan. If you have that perfect job for us somewhere please don't hesitate to call me or email though at any time! :) We are praying the Lord provides what we need when we need it this year as we have done for some time now. The times are shaky in this day and age, people around us are losing their homes and jobs and just downright nervous...its when we are at those points when God I believe is at his best! I picture him looking at us and saying ..."HELLO~ haven't I always provided for you? Would I stop now just because of the state of the economy? Aren't I bigger than all that "stuff"?"..... He wants us to find our perfect rest in his peace.

So we went back to school here at home. We homeschool if you haven't already heard that by now. Anyhow~ I have to really watch to make sure they are working and getting things done and not just telling me they finished things. We kind of fell into that trap when things got busy I took them at their word they had done what we had assigned after each lesson and found that not always was that really the case. I am much better now to correct immediately and not let time pass between those corrections. :) (MEAN MOTHER I AM) LOL :)

Caleb is back to preschool this week, Monday was back to our routine for him, although we didn't make it to Speech Therapy this week. Preschool is starting the alphabet now and letter sounds more aggressively then the beginning of the year. He loves school, did I mention that already? Loves the kids, and the teachers and just about everything they do! :) He is my social butterfly though~ I find this funny after too very quiet and reserved kids~ he is my one who can't seem to be alone (much like his mother). He has been a huge blessing to all of us, he keeps us all laughing at all times.

Tomorrow we head back to MAFA (our older two attend this on Wednesdays throughout the year), the boys are excited to get back to their friends there. Also we have orthodontic appts, dentists appts and preschool to get too! It will be a mother taxi day! Thankfully I don't start my classes till next week or else this Wednesday would be way too long!

As I type I am listening to my baby cry in the shower ....he hates it! I need to go to rescue him....or his father which ever needs more rescuing....

Until next time.....